O! Clabber Girl

Inspired by the slightest nip in the air, my grocery cart at Tom Thumb held Rice Chex, Wheat Chex, Cheerios, Corn Chex, Rold Gold pretzels, and Imperial margarine. Time to mail a football halftime favorite, homemade Chex Mix, to my sons so they know their mommy still loves them.  True, she can't really afford to add the peanuts, cashews, and mixed nuts to the Krunch, but not everybody likes the nuts anyway.

Multitasking, making hummus with deli hearts of palm and artichoke in the blender, melting margarine for the Chex Mix in the microwave, and posting on Facebook about returning a new version of home economics classes to public schools.  Prairie Bluestem and I were considering the matter of nutrition education and real life skills.

The microwave beeped.  Four sticks of margarine were melted in a Pyrex bowl.  Set the bowl on the counter.  Dug into the gizmo drawer for measuring spoons.  Shoved a bag of English muffins into the bread box. Opened the cupboard above to get the Worchestershire Sauce, garlic powder, and Lawry's Seasoned Salt from the lazy Susan.  Bumped the can of baking soda off the high tower and watched it executed a perfect dive in slo-mo down into the melted margarine.  Jim McKay did the announcing as I watched what was happening unable to prevent it.

The dive became a cannonball.  Melted margarine sprayed into the open bread box, and down into the gizmo drawer.  It splashed up into the cupboard, and down between the range and cabinets.  It soaked into my t-shirt and jeans.

I haven't seen such an amazing dive since Lincoln, Nebraska hosted the A.A.U. National Swimming and Diving Championship at  Woods Park Pool in 1966 and 1968.  That ancient memory splashed up along with the melted mess.

Dad drove us over to Woods Pool on various days of the A.A.U. competitions, parked the '61 Pontiac Catalina in the gravel lot, and we watched high board and tower divers through the chain link fence.  This is a good memory of how Dad enriched our childhood at little expense. Another memory is of Dad taking me to the Big 8 Track and Field Tournament in Memorial Stadium and patiently explaining all the events.

But back to the kitchen dive site, I've been working for 2.5 days when time allows to clean up this mess. Adding to the surrealism, at some point on the night of the calamity, I walked barefoot, stepped on a carpet tack, and left bloody footprints all over the crime scene.  C.S.I.-Condo Kitchen!

The East German judge only gave the dive an 8 1/2. Commies don't like Chex Mix.

On a bizarre note, the cost of building an Olympic swimming and diving facility in the Sixties is less than the cost of ingredients for a three-sons-batch of Chex Mix Cereal Krunch in 2011:

Lincoln hosted the Amateur Athletic Union National Outdoor Swimming and Diving Championships in 1966 and 1968. When it opened in 1964 at a cost of $325,000, Woods Pool was considered one of the finest in the region. With a separate pool for springboard and platform diving, an eight-lane competition pool, along with a separate warm-up pool, the venue was ideal for big meets. Following the 1966 meet, the pool was dubbed, “The fastest water in the West.”                                   

Life Magazine September 2, 1966 : Cover - First color pictures of the fall fashions from Paris. Author Jonathan Daniels explores F.D.R.'s secret romance with Lucy Mercer Rutherfurd in "The Time Between the Wars". Full page color ad for Wink soda from Canada Dry, racing, checkered flag theme. L.B.J. travels the US to rally his supporters for the fall elections. Close-up of Japanese author Yukio Mishima. Travel - European castle hotels attract "castellophiles". Sports - nine world records fall at National A.A.U. swimming meet in Lincoln, Nebraska. Man is a territorial animal asserts author Robert Ardrey in Part 2 of this 2-part series adapted from his new book, "The Territorial Imperative". Pop-art makes the leap to fashion with bright, bold shapes from Paris, but nostalgia still has a place as well. Half page ad for the admiral "Instant Play" television, no warm-up, and wireless remote control. 

© 2011 Nancy L. Ruder


Kathleen said...

OMG, I can see it all happening! OH, melted margarine is hard to clean up. I have Clabber Girl, too. If only she could help out with a mop, eh?

Collagemama said...

Sorry, Kathleen. When I corrected a spacing error, your comment was lost.


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