Belushi slugs in an Evite world

Like waking up with a hangover, I'm not feeling all that good about my garden slug battle. And like the host of a college kegger, I'm worried that I should have checked IDs.

Annoyed that circumstantial evidence placed slugs and snails on/about devastated dill, rosemary, and lettuce plant crime scenes, I developed an anti-gastropod policy. Emulating the little Guard Duck character in the comic, "Pearls Before Swine," I wanted to launch an all-out assault.

I started small. Gardening friends all recommended beer traps to lure slugs. Last weekend I set an assortment of jar lids and plastic bottle caps around my patio container garden and gave each a drizzle of stale Busch beer. Nothing happened. Okay. One elderly slug stumbled over the lip of a yogurt lid and died of dehydration.

Alas, two more nasturtiums and another marigold were nibbled to the quick. Little Guard Duck's evaluation of my efforts:
  • Too small.
  • Too unplanned.
  • Too low-tech.

After laying low for a few days, I sent out an Evite to the slug and snail Facebook members. These are hip, techno-savvy slugs, but they appreciate esoteric retro connections. Party highlights:
  • Projected the 1978 "Animal House" movie on the condo wall.
  • Snails and slugs crowded in for a better view and unlimited brewskis.
  • Some chanted, "Toga! Toga!"
  • Others stayed late for the second feature to see Kathy Bates in the "About Schmidt" hot tub.
  • Added tiki torches, Doritos, and a vintage Twister game.

Now I wonder if gastropods are our friends. Did the attendees of the beer party leave my patio ecosystem poorer?

© 2010 Nancy L. Ruder

1 comment:

Genevieve said...

Hasn't your patio ecosystem got along just fine without slugs in the past? If you've actually made a dent in the population, don't worry. Be happy! :)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...