Speedy rust and sweet popcorn

I need rusty objects, and I need them right now! Sounds like an old East High Spartans cheer for the basketball player named Reckeway. We need a basket and we need it right now! Can't you hear the saddle shoes stomping on the bleachers?

Most of the time the Buick and I try to avoid rust, but I read a story in the latest Quilting Arts magazine about dyeing fabric with rusty metal items. Hauled all my nuts and bolts, old license plates, and other likely suspects out to a bucket of water on the patio. Abracadabra, please and thank you! Make rust! And hurry!

Thanks to having a Class A high school tournament-winning basketball coach for my chemistry teacher, I don't understand any chemical reactions beyond the tendency of Buicks to rust over time. Recently I learned that adding mustard to my homemade salad dressing concoctions keeps them from separating into vinegar and oil teams. Don't have a clue why, but I can usually differentiate between zone and man-to-man defenses.

It's not pop rocket science, but you can now buy microwave sweet kettle korn popcorn by accident or intent. When the preschoolers were served this counterintuitive mid-morning snack, their faces registered their little disapprovals. We may want fast rust, but we don't want sweet popcorn when we're expecting salty.

© 2008 Nancy L. Ruder

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