The reason I was coming before the county probate court judge was to be deemed sane enough to be the independent administrator of Dad's estate. Friends and family had cautioned me against mentioning my side career as a vermicomposting edu-tainer aka Worm Lady.
The lawyer just told me, "Oh, by the way, you are sworn in now," before we ever went in the courtroom. No raising colorful hand. Not one bit like on Perry Mason.
Then we sat at a table with the judge, and I said yes or no (as appropriate) to questions like:
- Did your dad have or adopt any children after 1996?
- Have you ever been found mentally incapacitated?
- Does your family still have that meth lab down in the holler?
- Will your brother Darryl or your other brother Darryl contest this will?
Raise your right hand and repeat after me ... No, your other right hand.
Maybe I just haven't watched Judge Judy since Dad died.
No, that is not me. That is Elena Kagan being sworn in. And Midge being sworn in to Barbie's court. And a magenta zebra puppet ready to tell the whole truth. And some lady who is the new health commissioner of the US Virgin Islands. And an altered photo of Michelle Obama's glove on Inauguration Day.