Twisted demise of my new parka

But I just got this coat!

After my creek cleanup effort last Sunday, I tossed my black Pillsbury DoughGirl parka into the washer with all the other muddy clothes.  Moved it to the dryer.  Hung it on a hanger.  Got up Monday after a way too short weekend, and struggled into the parka to go to work.  And struggled.  What? Ho?  Something was askew.  Why couldn't I move my right arm?  Why did I look like Igor in "Young Frankenstein"?  Why was my coat AB-normal?

Somehow all the filling in my new parka had come loose from the quilting, except at the right shoulder.  So all the poof had agitated and tumbled around and around like a ballerina with one shoe nailed to the floor until it was the size of a baseball/bagel around the vortex and rock hard.

If you happen to need a chain untangled, a shoestring unknotted, your Christmas tree light strings salvaged, I am your girl.  But even I could not untwist the batting and move it back where it belonged.  I wasn't brought up to just surrender and discard something that might yet be fixed or repurposed.  Oh, the low self-esteem!  I slunk to the dumpster to toss in the coat and debated whether I should also discard its detachable hood.

The Montgomery Ward store where I bought my new parka went out of business in 2001.  I quit shopping there in 1995, having purchased the coat when I returned the final Valentine gift from my spouse.  I was pretty irritable, having found our Wards credit card bill.  My spouse purchased two tropical flower push-up bra/panty sets, and a gold ankle bracelet with a heart charm.  I received one bra/panty set for Valentines Day.  The salesclerk in the jewelry department translated the SKU codes from the bill, and showed me the garish ankle bracelet.  Geez, divorce was due to irreconcilable aesthetics, among so many other things! 

Today I purchased a new fleece winter jacket.  It is Valentine red.  Life is good.  Just ask Igor.

© 2011 Nancy L. Ruder

1 comment:

Kim said...

It seems like a photo of you in the coat would have added something beyond delightful to the blog, though trying to take a picture of yourself while wearing the garment might have caused an injury that you then would have to explain to the ER doc. While still wearing the coat. So I reckon you made the right omission here after all.


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