9/23/09

Mosquito personal trainer

The trainer collects the fee up front, meeting his student on my porch in the hours before sunrise. Now and then he asks the student to stop that incessant buzzing to listen:

Hear that? She hit the snooze button again.

Oh. This is good. She woke her computer from its hibernation and is lumbering to the coffeemaker.

Are you ready? When she opens the door to grab the newspaper you rush in. Follow her to the bathroom. She always take the newspaper bag to a box where she collects them. Stay out of earshot. Don't get impatient. She'll leave to flip through the front section while the coffee brews. You find a good hiding spot.

She'll be back soon for her shower, and, believe me, you've never seen a bigger target! This is big game hunting in an 8'x8'x8' Africa. It's a feast, I tell you! She should have an apple in her mouth.

This is it! The door is opening! Go, go, go!

Fifteen minutes later, a SWACK and a gnashing of teeth. The personal trainer lives to collect tomorrow's tuition.

© 2009 Nancy L. Ruder

2 comments:

Genevieve said...

That doesn't sound like a very pleasant morning.

Collagemama said...

Alas, it's a daily battle of wits.

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