Persian lug riquidator

Ben Franklin didn't know diddly about Persian rugs and old farts' toenails. Ben said, "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."

Nothing can be certain except that Persian rug dealers will be going out of business and liquidating with incredible bargains. Who knew the most recession-resistant occupation would be rug liquidator? Jettie North, my high school counselor, never saw that when she peered into her Occupational Outlook Handbook crystal ball.

Back then Jettie advised me to apply to Bryn Mawr. The name was a tongue-twister--Myn Brawr. So is lug riquidator.

"His toenails were so long they had curled around and down under his toes. His children never visited him anymore." That was the big news flash at my grandma's nursing home in Pierce one weekend when we went to visit back in about 1968. The aides told us about the new admission. I never saw the neglected old farmer, but the terrifying mental image has haunted me for forty years. Twilight Zone toenails...

The poor man needed a drive-by podiatrist--a toenail clipper who made house calls. In between taxes and death, toenails keep growing, sometimes out of control. Much of the service industry is laying off workers in the current economic LaBrea. I'm betting drive-by podiatrists are a secure sector.

© 2008 Nancy L. Ruder

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