I've got a Capri-Sun, and I'm not afraid to use it.

Go ahead. Make my lunch.

Over twenty years ago Kraft figured out how to package an alleged juice drink in a foil pouch and market it to harried parents. Capri-Sun drink pouches and similar products are even more annoying than Lunchables and juice boxes.

Bad enough that a Capri-Sun drink pouch contains mostly high fructose corn syrup and water so kids careen around the classroom like pinball wizards with small bladders all afternoon. The packaging is EVIL:

  • Straw can't be extricated from plastic wrapper without adult assistance.

  • Straw can't be poked into the foil pouch without adult assistance.

  • The poking process usually involves leaks of sticky liquid, even when grown-ups do it.

  • Straw may be chewed beyond usefulness before it makes it through the poking process.

  • Straw may have gone AWOL so foil pouch must be cut open with scissors, and the contents carefully poured into Dixie cup.

  • Pouch can be inflated. Some kids find the temptation to quickly consume all the highly sweetened drink so they can spend much of the lunch period inflating the foil pouch like a balloon instead of eating the rest of their lunch.

  • Pouch can be launched.

  • Pouch can be used as a squirt gun to shoot drink into faces of tablemates.

You'd think a Capri-Sun would come with build-it-yourself bagpipe instructions, but NO! The only good thing about drink pouches is that they take up less room in the nonrecyclable lunchroom trashbag than juice boxes.

All rights reserved 2007 Nancy L. Ruder

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