Speed-dating with a troll under the bridge

According to AARP Magazine [Sept.-Oct. 2007], senior citizens have discovered speed-dating. Speed-dating is popular with young professionals like my eldest. Events are for meeting many people quickly, and discovering any sparks of interest in three or eight minutes of chatting.

True, I'm old enough to be an AARP member, but I prefer to imagine a seriously senior citizen speed-dating scenario. Some enchanted evening you may find that special someone across a crowded room of entangled walkers and wheelchairs .

The story suggests asking the person you just met to list their medications and to tell how many times they've been married. After team brain-storming, here are some other questions:

Do you mind if I tuck my napkin under my chin?

Which “big war” did you mean?

Are your pills in 7 or 30 day plastic containers?

Do your children cook Thanksgiving dinner for you, or do you still go to your mom's house?

Name your top five favorite Campbell's soups.

Does the phrase, "TED hose," remind you of Mary Jo Kopechne?

Who has your Power of Attorney?

Any grown kids living in your basement?

What flavor of Boost is your favorite?

How old is your poodle?

How many cats do you feed?

Care to join me for The Weather Channel local on the eights?

Wanna watch some Efferdent bubbles with me?

Earlier this summer the AARP Magazine featured a bizarre Kevin Costner photo on the cover. My immediate reaction was, "He must be starring in a Three Billy Goats Gruff movie!" Who's that trippy-tromping on my bridge?

© 2007 Nancy L. Ruder

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