When I am in charge of the world, I will send the hosts and hostesses of our nation's sit-down mid-price restaurants to my special training facility. At the facility they will each be equipped with a walker, and sent though mazes filled with bar stools and chair legs to the ramp at the farthest corner of the simulation restaurant, then to the most distant booth or table around the obstacle course of highchairs and waitstaff singing "Happy Birthday".
Just before lunch all the major television stations began broadcasting live, continuous coverage of a low-speed car chase on a California highway, shades of O.J. Police and highway patrol were able to redirect all traffic to clear the road for some driver who refused to pull over at heaven knows what cost to taxpayers. Oh that the restaurant staff could push the occasional stray chair legs out of the aisle as they so impatiently lead those patrons who must travel slowly to a table! Maybe if we interrupted our regularly scheduled programming we could get a little service.
© 2007 Nancy L. Ruder