...blender. Smoothies. Nutritious, energy-boosting, straw-worthy, cupholder-friendly fruit and yogurt smoothies.
On a real world resume I could note that I have thirteen years of experience parenting teen males. That outshines the two years leading the Cub Scout group, the five years of toilet training, and all my continuing education credits in emergency rooms.
A nephew turns thirteen this week. My sister is new at this teen guy division of parenting. I offer this wisdom, although I should probably charge for it:
Teen guys must have their blended fruit concoctions!
They are not morning people.
If they can get themselves upright and deodorized in the morning, you can place a large blended smoothie with a bendable straw into the hand not holding the backpack, and they are as good to go as they are going to get before noon.
Hoping for more will bother you way more than it bothers your teen.
Teen guys like machines with motors and loud noises that smash and destroy stuff.
In this regard they are not significantly different than they were as toddlers.
Before they start "fixing" your car, let them learn to drive the Hamilton-Beach blender.
Smoothies are a teen guy's introduction to preparing his own meals. Before you know it your little darling will want to boil his own pasta. Can guacamole be far behind?
The Ice Crush/Pulse button is used to accompany Steppenwolf's "Born to Be Wild".
Teen guys want to experiment and live on the edge. Bring exotic fruits home from Hinky Dinky and leave them unattended on the kitchen counter.
Teen guys want to think they are "bulking up."
Teen guys want to watch tv while they sip their smoothies. The closer you can move the tv to the blender, the fewer spills on the carpet.
This bonus hint--the longer a heavy metal rock concert t-shirt wallows in the dirty laundry pile, the faster the gross guy perspiration destroys the fabric particles.
Someday your son's taste in music will improve. Until then, sing along.
We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchens deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta blend these green kiwis!
Get your blender runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever fruit comes our way
© 2007 Nancy L. Ruder