Weather advisory for southern Collin County
A large mass of low energy is being pushed out of a fatigue trough by a stabilizing front of powerful antibiotics. This sudden change in atmospheric pressure could produce volatible weather for persons south of a line known as Park Boulevard, and west of a line known as Custer Road, due to rapidly increasing frustration with status quo unaccompanied by disipating breezes and measurable precipitation. Particularly at risk during this storm event are male persons between the ages of eighteen and twenty with pack rat tendencies and low interior aesthetic motivation, not to mention sweaty baseball caps. Said persons are instructed by the National Mother Service to move to higher ground, turn down the bass, and clean up their acts. This large mass could become a Category Three at any moment. Stay tuned to Mother Watch Radar for new developments. In the event of an emergency, you may be advised to move quickly to a trailer court.