Real authors wear boots

I may never be a real author, and I'm sure I'll never play one on tv. Still, I'm interested in the lives and secrets of success for writers. Naturally I was thrilled to hear in the news recently about the DaVinci Code author's website. What advice would Dan Brown have for this blogger?

Give us three "Good to Know" facts about you. Be creative. Tell us about your first job, the inspiration for your writing, any fun details that would enliven your page. If I'm not at my desk by 4:00 A.M., I feel like I'm missing my most productive hours. In addition to starting early, I keep an antique hour glass on my desk and every hour break briefly to do pushups, sit-ups, and some quick stretches. I find this helps keep the blood (and ideas) flowing. I'm also a big fan of gravity boots. Hanging upside down seems to help me solve plot challenges by shifting my entire perspective.
From Dan Brown's official website.

Okay, Dan, let me rephrase the question. Give us three "Good to Know" facts about you that won't make us gag. Gravity boots are just so, so, so 1980's, Dan! I expect to see dark wood paneling, red shag carpet, and avocado green crockpots full of melted Velveeta, RoTel tomatoes, and Old El Paso refried beans in those photos of basement rec rooms with a gravity boot inversion table. I checked the claims about Spyder Gravity Boots:

Spyder Gravity Boots Used by professional athletes, personal sport trainers, medical doctors, physical therapists, chiropractors, massage therapists.

As yet it doesn't mention Dan Brown, although one might think the inversion fitness folks would want to jump on the DaVinci Code bandwagon with everyone else. I don't think Dan's advice will be much help to me. I can't afford an inversion table, but I did pick up an inversion poodle for $1.99 at World Market today. I'm going to set my chicken kitchen timer for one hour, then do some (3) push-ups and some (7) sit-ups. I'll hang up my inversion poodle to get the ideas flowing. I might have to make some of that last millennium bean dip, though.

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