No z-z-z-z-z for these bees

Some mornings we don't want to climb out from under our quilts to get the day going, right? It helps if we have had enough sleep. Elementary age students need nine hours of sleep under their warm and comfy quilts to really concentrate and learn at school in the daytime. Preschool students need ten or eleven hours. Moms need a solid twelve but that will happen when pigs fly. Art teachers are still trying to catch up from when their own sons were little.

Being The Bedtime Enforcer is tough and rarely applauded duty. No parent wants to be the consistent bedtime villain, but teachers silently salute your efforts. Well-rested children are focused, inquisitive, conscientious, polite, and imaginative. They are the kids who make it worth throwing off our comfy quilt, starting the Mr. Coffee, and heading to the shower in the morning.

We have been playing with the word "bee" during our quilt art project as we piece together many art techniques to create some fine collages. The quilting bee is a symbol of collaboration and community. Bees are just fabulous creatures, and so easy to draw since they look like flying hotdogs with stripes!

My preschool children are insistent that bees "stink". They claim all bees have "stinkers" on their tails. I'll be planning an art project with lots of G forces next, as I, in my apparently delusional grown-up teacher state, thought bees had "stingers".

Alas, it isn't the bees that stink. You ain't smelled nothin' until you've opened a vintage bottle of overly warm Chateau de Elmer's . When you reach to the back of the art supply shelf scary things await. They may remind you of the stink of the 1968 Heidi Bowl, a vivid memory of my childhood:

Trivia: This was the TV adaptation of "Heidi" that, through no fault of its own, became embroiled in a U.S. broadcasting brouhaha known to this day as the "Heidi Bowl." On Sunday, 17 Nov 1968, the NBC television network was scheduled to begin airing "Heidi" at 7pm Eastern Standard Time, following coverage of an American Football League game between the New York Jets and the Oakland Raiders. The game ran long; however, with the Jets leading the Raiders, 32-to-29, NBC broke away to begin "Heidi" on schedule. During the remaining minute of play (which was extended by penalties and timeouts), Oakland managed to score two touchdowns, and ended up beating New York, 43-to-32. Outraged football fans inundated NBC switchboards. The network expressed regret, saying it had intended to stay with the football game until it ended, and blaming a series of miscommunications for the gaffe. A result of this fiasco is that NFL television contracts require games to be televised in their entirety.

My father tells stories of the Great Depression. As a young boy he learned that the best way to get a delicious lunch in the dusty Thirties was to hang around the ladies making quilts. I just hope they won't serve cottage cheese.

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