Impatient. My condo is just fine for most of my life when I am off to work, sleeping, writing, reading, or collaging. It is not good for being home sick from work. This is day three for me to sit around drinking water and staring at the walls...and the gigantic cobwebs...and the ugly caulk around the kitchen sink and bathtub. Decongestants make reading too demanding, so I sit here fantasizing about the perfect man.
Ask any woman my age to describe their favorite fantasy guy. Is it one of the 007 actors? Tommy Lee Jones? A sports hunk? Be honest, ladies, about your most compelling urges and desires. Who do you really need?
Yes! It's Eldin the housepainter from "Murphy Brown"! It might take Eldin six years to redo the caulk, knock down the cobwebs, repaint the condo, maybe pull up the bathroom carpet and replace it with a nice tile, but wouldn't it be satisfying?
Robert Pastorelli played Eldin Bernecky from 1988-1994, and he described the character thus:
"He's not just a house painter. He's an artist," Pastorelli told USA TODAY in 1992 about the part that made him a cult figure. "He keeps Murphy emotionally grounded. He smooths the lumps in her emotional oatmeal."
Best not to ponder lumpy oatmeal too long in my current schnozzy condition. I'm going to close my eyes for a little nap now, and hope the cobweb will have disappeared when I wake up.